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'Ears to hearing!

Evening :)

I figured I absolutely needed to post a blog... Exciting news.........

THIS WEEK I FINALLY HEARD SOMETHING ON THE RIGHT SIDE!!!?!!!

It was all actually a little emotional!!

How I hear you ask.... HEAR!! hahah no pun intended!!!

As you know I am completely deaf in my right ear. I haven't heard anything for 4 years now. At my last appointment. We discussed my headaches. They are really quite bad.. made worse by travel, dehydration, concentrating, exercise, lights, not eating, driving.... blah blah! Lots of things.

Talking to my consultant he said that he wonders if the fact that I use my eyes so much means that I am having to concentrate really hard and this may be the reason my head gets sore and I get tired. He thought if we dealt with one of my requirements (balancing or hearing!) then I would have more room for the other and then in turn I would have to concentrate less and it might help my headaches. So, roll on HEARING IMPLANT appointment.

Ive mentioned before how I didn't want a hearing aid, but it turns out you can try it and see if it fits into your life so I thought ok why not!! So this monday saw me hot foot it up to London for the appointment. :)

After a long chat about the two possible devices...

CROSS: A bluetooth device that has a digital microphone on your bad side and a reciever on the other which look like normal hearing aids. The noise goes into the microphone, the sound gets bluetoothed to the other side, sent into your good ear drum and then you can hear. As far as I understand, the noise is amplified so it can be fairly loud and often you can hear alot of background noise.

BAHA: (Bone anchored hearing aid) A small stud gets implanted onto the skull bone on your bad side. Then you can attach the digital microphone onto the clip. The sounds that go into the mic are sent along the bone to your cochlear where the noise is processed and you can hear it. If you dont have a cochlear then it will travel around the skull to your other working one and then process the noise/vibration as sound to your good ear. (its a short procedure to implant the device. Local or general)

I was offered the chance to take both home for two weeks to try them in my environment. Well.. he set up the BAHA for me. The demo one that you see in the picture is slightly larger than normal due to having to conduct through the band and hair. Normally it would go flush onto the skin and be slightly smaller. The band is for me to try it at home (or having cake in London as this picture shows!!!)

He asked me to put a plug in my good ear so I couldn't hear.. then they carried on talking.. one on each side of me. I COULD HEAR BOTH OF THEM!!!!!! Short of the fact one was on the wrong side so I shouldn't normally be able to hear, I had my good ear covered so all the noise was coming through the device. I could not believe it!! I could hear again!!!! It's actually really natural too, picking out the voices rather than the environmental noise. I was a little emotional to be honest.

Next he programmed the Cross device. Once it was started all the noises in the room became much louder. Like I say, it's amplified and it really is because I was holding some paper and the rustle on it was really really clear! Initially hearing voices sounded a little like they were on "skype" or the telephone, very digital and a little far away but really clear. Again I could hear things happening on the dead side that prevoiusly I would have missed!!

Now we know that this all makes sense... its goal is to help me hear and it did! However the shock for me was walking in the street.. I almost had to take the Cross off because some things were so artificially loud. I imagine it would be a case of getting used to that type of noise input, but the best feeling was the feeling of being "reintroduced to society!!" Not by wearing a fancy gown and dancing with suitable batchelors... although that could have been fun!....???!!! Instead by the fact that my deaf side suddenly stopped being a dead zone. I could see again.

That sounds strange but having a deaf ear and a numb face has always made my vision on that side seem useless. My peripheries, whilst testing well, actually don't make me feel like I am complete when I wander around. I miss things that happen on that side as if the whole side is not functioning. Suddenly both hearing aids made me feel like I could stand tall again. I could talk to my friends without studying their lips to catch all the words, I could cross the road without worrying, I could hear people approaching and I even heard someone talking on the telephone by putting the phone up to the device!!!! (quietly but I heard it!!!)

It was the most mind blowing feeling to remember what it all felt like again! I know it's artificial but it's like being given another chance to be normal. I look forward to having conversations with people in this two week period and seeing if I feel more confortable doing so. I'd got so used to just clamming up and being quiet because I didn't want to talk because people respond and I always miss it or say pardon and I hate it. I've gone into myself so much in the last 4 years it's not nice and then monday... suddenly I just wanted to LOOK at everything, observe it all and not hide away. :)

Body image... well I have to admit that I found it a little daunting thinking of going to work with this headband and the baha attached. However I need to try it at work to see and they will just have to get used to it. Everyone will just have to get used to it because it would be a part of me. I had a fleeting moment where I thought what about dating. (or partners for some of you!) What will they think, will I still be attractive to anyone? I entertained this for a bit, but in the long run this makes me have my personality back so that has to be the bonus and be worth a small sci-fi device poking through my hair!! It really doesn't show as much as you think, plus... I reckon it makes me all futuristic! Maybe I can tune in to other peoples thought waves on it or something!! ;) ha.

In conclusion.. I THINK I will be going for the BAHA.. why? Well it's simpler to attach and doesnt' iritate like the inner ear bits on the cross aids. It creates a more natural sound and manages to collect voice more than environment from what I've seen so far and that would be amasing. I will try it in some different environments and see how it fares! I'll keep you posted!! I wouldn't put anyone off the Cross. I know some of you are going this way. It's good and it's easy and it's less intrusive, my issue is that I want to feel natural again and the amplification on the cross is too much for me. I found it a little bit loud.

I guess we all make our own choices. I think I've made mine but I have two weeks to see! I'll FB about it!! I hope this info helps a little to some of you thinking about it, or having discounted the idea as not for you. Maybe there is time now for a trial????

Judes !

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